Day 6: Anime I Want to See But Haven't Yet

Old Orchard Beach, Maine

So I'm going to Maine for a few days. I'm bringing my computer so I can blog and stuff. I'm getting my 2nd replacement phone (because the 1st didn't have a volume button and the screen was popped-out slightly). I'll take pictures and stuff while I'm there. I'm happy I'm going but it's kinda sad because my sister is gonna be a lazy potato while we are there.
I'm gonna post a couple more posts but then I'm gonna close my computer til i get there.

Ima no say┼Źnara!
(Not bringing my Xbox though, don't wanna laze around gaming while I'm there)


My Life right now...

This is me. Playing Videogames. In my attic. Everyday....

My Life = Nothing

(gifs are from Oreimo 1 or 2)

My mind right now..

Life, i believe, is the scariest thing in the universe. It's just as scary as death. It's filled with so many emotions. So much pain. So much hate. It's beyond comprehension. But that's not why I'm writing this post...Well not exactly.


My heart is literally torn in two. A part of it wants to tell the girl I love that I, well, love her. The other part, though, doesn't want to because I will hurt. It hurts so much right now that i haven't said a single word to her.
I just tell her to see if the feelings stop. Cause I'm pretty sure she is straight. I feel like if she broke my heart, it would stop these feelings. I don't know for sure but that's what I am hoping.
I always look out at the clouds or the stars or just the sky and hope she is looking too...She obviously not thinking of me.

I can't stop thinking...2 years...non-stop thinking...pain...hurt...


Day 5: Anime You're Ashamed to Enjoy (Im not like super ashamed but just a little)

F***ing hate LinkedIn (uncensored)

Honestly LinkedIn I'm never ever going to join your fucking site. You are sending me emails on both my yahoos and now my gmail!?! Not only that but I get shit from church members who told me they dont send requests and now my fucking sister.
Just No.


My sister is a total b*tch.. (Younger Sister Rant)

I hate my sister.
I mean it.

My sister is hogging the downstairs, by watching TV non-stop for the entire f***ing summer. And she yells at me constantly for absolute no reason. She yells even more when I go downstairs to get food downstairs. Its really annoying cause she sleeps downstairs. She says its because there is a spider in her room but I think it's because she wants the Big Screen all to herself. She is Obsessively Addicted to TV. I'm not kidding. We bought wireless headphones so now she wears them, so the TV noise doesn't annoy people downstairs but it does. It's still f***ing annoying. I ask if she would like to go on a walk with me and she said no because she "didn't feel like it" but note she was watching TV. So I took my dog with me. AND she tried to bribe me to walk the dog because she didn't want to walk the dog in the morning but I said no. I did accept 1 of her recent bribe's because I didn't know what to have for dinner.

When she yells at me, it's honestly about nothing to do with what was going on. She was half-asleep lecturing me about messing up the coffee machine. The coffee machine had coffee grounds in the thing and it made the coffee spill onto the hotplate. I didn't know there was coffee grounds, so its not my fault. She loves making everything someone's fault. She loves to call things she finds annoying or things she hates 'stupid'. And when she doesn't understand something, she says she doesn't believe in it, like she doesn't believe in bisexuality. Its obnoxious because the things aren't really stupid. She is because she is losing brain cells by staring endlessly at the TV screen.

Nothing fazes her when she is staring at the TV. I'd hit that I don't want the TV and she doesn't even notice...Honestly they are big hints.

She also loves holding grudges against my mom or me...Mostly me. And the grudges aren't worth it. The grudges are against things like I don't say sorry or stupid long time ago past events.

AND whenever I say sorry, she doesn't accept it or find an excuse why she shouldn't accept it. She'd be like "It was in a different voice" or "She didn't mean it".

She apologizes thousands upon thousands of time for yelling about nothing. I really shouldn't accept her apologies. Like... when you apologize, you try not to do the same mistake again. But she does it, Every.F***ing. Day. Like honestly she'll yell every night to my mom or me, for past things that don't matter or nothing at all.

She doesn't listen to the rules. Like recently she just invites a bunch of friends over and my mom finds out after she asks her friends. She said it like "I invited a couple friends over". She probably told her friends my mom said yes, which she did not. And she says she doesn't ask because i don't, which is total bullshit! I WAS TAUGHT THAT I HAVE TO ASK MY MOTHER BEFORE THE FRIENDS, SO I DID! I NEVER EVER ASKED MY  FRIEND THEN JUST LET MY MOM KNOW THAT MY FRIEND IS COMING OVER! NEVER BECAUSE IM NOT A TOTAL DIPSHIT!

She'd yell her brains out if you take the TV away from her. You are dead to her if you take the privilege of TV away. SHE HAS NO SENSE OF TONE (OF VOICE)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She also acts like a mother to me, says about how my depression (and depression in general) isn't real, says that i can't do anything right, and probably other mean things. She is my house's/family's bully. Once I'm out of school that was full of b*tches and d*cks, I'm home with a b*tchy bulling sister...Hooray -.-

F*** My Life

I lived with my mom since i was 7 months and we got "it" when "it" was 5 yrs old. I was taught and listened all the rules my mom gave me. "it" on the other hand never listened to the rules. "it" also has very severe anger management. And "its" anger is scary.

I've been feeling a bit rant-y recently so don't hate. It's like one of those weeks that you just need to rant about.

Day 3: Favorite Male Anime Character Ever


My Shoe Design (Drawn Myself)

TV Show Rant.

Honestly I am so freaking mad about TV. There is nothing good on anymore. There is so many crap-shows.
For example:

  • Haunted Hathaways
  • Keeping Up with the Kardashians
  • Kris Jenner's (shitty) talk show
  • Teen Mom 1, 2, & 3
  • The Real World
  • Jersey Shore
  • Talking Friends
  • Legends of Chima
  • Grojband
  • Awesomeness TV
  • Incredible Crew
  • Secret Life of the American Teenager
  • The Vineyard
  • Sanjay and Craig
  • Copper Top Flop Show (Its a major flop)
  • Rabbids Invasion (It looks cute but it's better as a humorous videogame like Rayman Raving Rabbids or Rabbids Go Home)
  • Swindle
  • Wander over Yonder (it isn't out yet but it looks really stupid)
  • Nick Studio 10
  • Wendell and Vinne (trying to squeeze the last bit of Spencer's role from iCarly)
  • Sam & Cat (trying to squeeze out the last bit of iCarly and Victorious)
  • Marvin Marvin
  • Rocket Monkeys
  • You Gotta See This

So many more....

Almost all the shows on E! channel suck

A lot of the MTV shows aren't that great

The Copper Top Flop Show is kind of insulting in my opinion. Calum Worthy is in a skit about food connoisseur at a restaurant. I find it very insulting to REAL connoisseur who's JOB it is to review different foods or types of food. He is metaphorically spitting on real food connoisseurs.

ABC Family Network shouldn't be for families (Pretty Little Liars [filled with lies, death, violence, a bit of horror], Switched at Birth [a lot of predictable drama scenarios], The Vineyard [looks like a super fake reality show, filled with lame reality drama, which again, is predictable], The Lying Game [lies, death, lame twin swapping], Twisted [lying, sociopath-ic scenarios], and there are probably more.)

Like why not show Teen Titans instead of Teen Titans Go! It's most definitely not as good as Teen Titans. They are teens, hence teen titans. So in teen titans go they look like 5 year olds. They. Are. TEENS FOR F*** SAKE!

I like Amazing World of Gumball, Regular Show, Adventure Time, Johnny Test, Phineas and Ferb, Gravity Falls

Annoying Orange is ok. The only episodes I like more is when Toby Turner (Tobuscus) is in it.

And the movie theater thing on cartoon network has a lot less cartoons

Here are some shows they SHOULD bring back/make more of:
  • Powerpuff Girls
  • Courage: The Cowardly Dog
  • Fosters Home For Imaginary Friends
  • Ed, Edd, & Eddy
  • The Misadventures of Flapjack
  • Chower
  • Invader Zim
  • What's New Scooby Doo
  • Ben10 (When he was a kid)
  • The Legend of Korra
  • My Babysitter's a Vampire
  • Kim Possible
  • Lilo & Stitch
  • Fairly Odd Parents (with Poof, not the stupid dog)
  • Penguins of Madagascar
  • Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness
  • (Maybe) Robot and Monster
  • House of Anubis (saying this just for my sister because she wants the next season)
  • Jimmy Neutron (or At least Planet Sheen)
  • Rugrats (but not all grown up because that series sucked)
  • GREY'S ANATOMY (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
  • probably a lot more shows to bring back...

Or How about some shows with a lot of THOUGHT and EFFORT in it!?
Seems like a lot of TV networks can't come up with any thoughts so they make crap shows that they cancel in mid-season. Good Job TV Networks. You Suck!

Day 2: Favorite Anime I've Watched So Far

(I have a lot of favorites but this one i like a lot)


Day 1: Very First Anime You Watched

The original series. Not GX or 5D's or Zexal [which are all not as good as the original]

30 Day Anime Challenge

I'm gonna do my best to post for each day, for 30 days. I'll post what the challenge is in the title of the post.

What's your level? I'm Over 9000!

Rate Your Otaku Powerlevel~


My Life right now...

I have recently been a bit...nervous? scared?...I don't know. I've been a bit nervous, I guess, about being lonely. Since I've made the personal decision about not going to college right now, all my friends I hang out with are going off to college...So it seems like I'm gonna be stuck at home. My mom will be at work. My sister is at school. And my renter is a total douche-bag. So I'm stuck at home. I'm still debating whether or not if I want to go to my mom's college class she teaches. I have gotten into the habit of talking to myself because I've been alone a lot of my life. I've also gotten the habit of making voices/conversation with my pets. I know, I'm so freaking weird (Thank You for the compliment). So like it's gonna be lonely year. I have been alone a lot of my life and school year. Yea, I have my mom and a couple friends but a lot of the time I am alone playing video-games or on YouTube or watching anime or reading manga. I'd used to ask my friends all the time to hang out but they'd always say that they were busy or had stuff to do. Whether or not if it was true. Sometimes I feel like I became a Hikikomori. I have been bullied in kindergarten and 7-8th grade and some of high school. In 8th grade, I only went into school for Math, English, Social Studies(history), Science and I walked around the school for gym because I had the worst social anxiety. And since a good friend of mine betrayed me and caused this, it only made my social anxiety worse. Because I had social anxiety, I became very shy. And because I lost trust in my friend, it became hard for me to trust people. (Hence the Dandere definition below)

My life sucked a lot. I'm not even kidding.
  • Lost my best friend in 6th grade
  • Betrayed by my friend in 8th grade
  • Blackmailed by my friend in 8th grade
  • Bullied in kindergarten, 7-8th, and parts of high school
  • Almost all the girls in my grade in high school seemed to hate me (they'd give me the most dirtiest looks I have ever seen. Like when the popular girl sees you flirting with her boy, I didn't do that though because I am a lesbian so..yea...At least 2 girls made sure that I knew they hated me) 
  • My ex-friend still bullied me in high school, along with her new friend (especially because we were in Physics and English together. And the bitchy new friend was in gym class with me and influenced her friends and they would like talk about me and laugh at me)
  • I would always fall for straight girls. I told two girls. One turned me down. The other said it was sweet. She never said yes or no but at that time she had a boyfriend. And I'm pretty sure she is straight
  • Throughout my whole life my aunt, uncle and some what of my grandma would/are rude to me because they don't understand me or why do certain things the way I do

Honestly...I'm just upset...I don't like being alone. I'm 18 and still live in my home. I've thought about moving out but I could never do that because it would be so lonely. So quiet. So alone....I feel kinda depressed thinking about it...
Some might not understand this feeling but if you ever had super severe social anxiety like I do then it makes sense.

I'm trying to figure out what to do to get rid of my loneliness but it's harder than it looks/seems.

....I know there are people out there who have tough lives and I just wanted to say I have it more or less equal because a life that's tougher that another isn't right. OK?


Well this sucks....

....I'm mad at myself..Now that person isn't viewing my blog anymore....I never meant to scare you.

Now isn't this interesting..

The are now two non-viewed posts after i posted that someone was viewing my page....
Interesting....Very Interesting....
And to the person who is viewing every post
I am not mad.
I just wanted to thank you, you're a committed fan of my blog ^.^

August 8th's Inspirational Moment

I am having an inspirational moment and I’d like to share my thoughts.

I am the kind of person who ponders life. Probably way too much. It’s just that life has so much that is unknown to either me or humanity itself. Anyway, I’m going to try to stay on topic as well as I can.
I am a caring person. If my friend is upset and wants to talk or just vent to me, I’d listen and help. That’s if they would like my help or at least listen to my thoughts about the issue. I am more caring that that. I’d listen to some random stranger and give them advice on life. It’d be like a once-in-a-lifetime kind of deal. I wouldn’t want to be a therapist unless it was like you only see me once then that’s it. I recently convinced a person who I follow on an art website that he is worth something and that life is still worth living. One of his recent art made me just feel worried as a caring person. So I asked him what’s up. He explained to me that he felt like he wasn’t cared about and I said he was important. It’s true about all people on this earth. They have a reason. All people have a reason though some stray onto the path of violence, evil, and disturbed. But all, I believe, start on the path of good and life in general messes with you, emotionally and physically, which can cause you to stray from the good path. I don’t want to say there is a right and wrong path because there really isn’t. Right or wrong, even good and bad, are words made up by humans (Just like numbers, days of the week, months, etc.) to make life more organized rather than chaotic but even then life is as chaotic as ever. It has its ups and downs but it’s totally worth the experience. Feeling emotions, having the possibility to taste different flavors, feeling different objects, listening to different sounds, and meeting interesting people throughout you’re entire life. It just fascinating and incredible thing. The things that you can experience is just unfathomable.

I went completely off topic kind of but I think you get the point.


Obito (I made this pic out of other pics)

Hey YOU!

I can see how many views each page/post gets. Someone has viewed my recent post. I believe its one person because each post gets 1 view. I'm kinda curious if I know them/you. This person probably is viewing this post right now and I wanna know, Do I know you? If I do know you, would you mind commenting or email me if you know my email? You could just comment your initials or even your first initial. I just am really curious. Please and Thank You if you do
(I don't own this image)
...They just viewed it


This is honestly love when....

You start to cry because the person you like accepts your request to follow/be friends.

I cried cause that's how happy i was. I am still literally euphoric because the request came through.

I love her
I love her


Thinking about College

I thinking about college. I'm gonna (hopefully) go to Suffolk University in Boston. I'm gonna major in Asian Studies. My mom (who is a professor and chair of the mathematics department) said its more oriental than Asian (because Asia includes India, Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Cambodia, Indonesia, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Kazakhstan, and many more)

(and more!)


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