I honestly don't like Thanksgiving...

My family is kind of predicable about planning events. They are last minute. They are usually at my home (rare occasion that it's at my Grandma's or my aunt's).

And this is usually how the events go (besides Christmas)
Mom + Aunt + Grandma = Talk about life events, mostly my grandmother's life
Uncle + Sister + Cousin = Talk about sports and stuff
Sister + Cousin = Talk about school and watch vids; Uncle = On phone/Reading book

I predicted this because it always happens. Though my Grandma didnt come this year. She was feeling sick/tired/something. I even predicted the table arraignment.

Then there is me. I am usually never spoken to unless to complain about something I am doing wrong. Before I ate, I mainly worked on my writing alone. My aunt briefly came in and asked how I was doing. I said I was tired. She literally said "You're always tired. You should have a schedule or something.".... I have adrenal fatigue but I didn't tell her because she'd be like "You're only 18, you shouldn't have stress....

[Definition: The term "adrenal fatigue" may be applied to a collection of mostly nonspecific symptoms  such as "tiredness, trouble falling asleep at night or waking up in the morning, salt and sugar craving, and needing stimulants like caffeine to get through the day".  Most commonly associated with intense or prolonged stress.]

For most of my life I've been stressed, whether or not I knew the word 'Stress'. Anyway, during the dinner/lunch I sat there while everyone but me talked about sports things. I didn't eat because the stress and anxiety was eating me. Then after dinner I slept on their couch. I was mostly asleep but I could hear them somewhat talking. I wish I didn't have to go to many of the family events...

....... I don't belong T~T


Usagi Drop

So I am about to finish this anime series called Usagi Drop (or Bunny Drop)
Its really good. I love it. Rin-chan, Kouki-chan, Daikichi, all of them ^-^ Such an amazing series. Didn't cause sadness but it made me really happy :D

If you want them feels..

Watch the last episode of Anohana T-T


Deep Thinking Late Night Post

It's 1:30-ish AM. I can't sleep because I have so much on my mind. So I'm gonna let some of my thoughts flow from my brain onto my blog.

Recently I've been thinking about my past. And it's not just once. It's been on repeat over and over and over again. Whether the thoughts are in order doesn't matter. It is that they just keep repeating. And it hurts. Not cause of the trauma it caused but the past just hurts. Anyway I'm gonna say a few words about a few people I have met and that i'm currently thinking about. I shall NOT say their name but what I knew them as.

(I think [was] Head) Compass Program Teacher:
I only knew you from Mid-Sophomore Year to beginning of Senior year. We became close as a student and teacher relationship goes. We were friendly towards each other.Time in the Compass Class room was fun. I wasn't sure about Compass at first but then you showed me around. I met the other teacher and the Compass Program's Psychologist. For sometime, maybe entire time, we as students and teachers were close-knit family. Though there were times you'd lash-out at me and I'd lash back. Sometimes I thought you were harsh on me. But. I knew that you were trying to do what you thought was right. You were an amazing teacher. Maybe friend? My memory is horrible but I think the last time I talked to you was about an email you misinterpreted. I made sure to clear it up, and the air too. But after that I was nervous to say anything to you. I was scared. I was scared of post-judgement if that makes sense. From her. From others.
And now I regret.
Regret lashing out.
Regret getting annoyed.
I was young. I think back about Compass almost everyday...
I am sorry I never understood that you were trying to look out for me until now.
I am sorry.

Compass Seniors of 2013
It was nice while it lasted. Hanging with all of you was amazing. We were a family. We are now going our separate was. Whether that's college, staying home, already working at a job, whatever. Just know, you all were an amazing while it lasted.

Middle School Gym Teacher (Does not work at the middle school anymore)
You were so nice and understanding. After having my episode in 8th grade, you'd walk around the school and we'd talk about life and stuff at the time. I never thanked you but it means a lot. You didn't judge or anything when I came out to you. I was still nervous at the time about who I told after a student threaten to 'out' me. You were like "I had a roommate in college that was a lesbian, so don't worry its' alright." Everyone else at that school had a single road to follow and if you didn't follow that road, you were most likely 'let go'. I am assuming that either they let you go or you saw there illusion and left because you were there only for a single year. Once again, thank you so much for being so nice.


There are many more but my mind is just focusing in on those few. A person can think about a lot at once when they are alone. My heart and mind aches. I am unable to sleep...Insanity? More like wishing I could thank the people I have met cause I know I'll most likely never meet them again.


Playing Mass Effect 3 (with Imports from 1 and 2)

So playing it for the first time with imports from the first game to the second and the second to the third.
 And its like the 5th time, just as amazing, playing Mass Effect 3. I am FemShep.
I have the Omega DLC so I get a (passionate) kiss from the Queen of Omega
I saved Wrex and the council. Survived the Suicide Mission with Team Alive (Thanks to the help of wiki pages)
(<---Fan art) And Liara has been my love interest with and without the imports, though I really wish I could romance Ashley. I know there is a connection there between them but you can't make it stronger T-T

I still love LiLi though..I call her LiLi. MY LILI~~ (pronounced Lee-Lee)

I have not watched this Anime yet..

Brothers Conflict

I've seen images and read about this anime. I have not watched it yet. I love the art styling very much. Characters are very well done.


After the Destruction of the Citadel...

So I am writing a story about after [My] FemShep destroys the Citadel. [My] FemShep has destroyed the Citadel, with all possible help from the galaxy. She is in a relationship with Liara T'Soni.
I'll post it on my art sight once I feel like its ready. There might be more than chapters to this.

The Galaxy defeated the reapers, with much help from Commander Shepard.
They thought that the hope, formed as Commander Shepard, was destroyed along with the Reapers.
What they didn't know...
Was that Hope Still Lives On...

[Pt.1] | [Pt.2] | [Pt.3] | [Pt.4] | [Pt.5] | [Pt.6] | [Pt.7] | [Pt.8] | [Pt.9] | [Pt.10] | [Pt.11] | [Pt.12] | [Pt.13] | [Pt.14] |


My Room (The main area)

A bunch of Trinkets I own


And My Main Desk Area of Awesomeness


Items I bought at the Fair today

This cute little stuffed animal, not sure what animal it is though...I seen it before...hmm..

Confucius, Fu-Kiang, Hakushu, Lao-Tse, Tseng-Kuang

Love Hina #7, Rave Master the Quest Begins

The puppy with the bones and the bigger dog , attached by a chain

How to Draw Anime & Game Characters Vol. 5: BISHOUJO Game Characters

Pokemon 10th anniversary Pokedex
Pokemon Diamond & Pearl Guide
The Ultimate National Pokedex: Pokemon Diamond | Pokemon Pearl


Is this...

Is this…Is this love?
I just want to hold her in my arms and never let go. Protect her and keep her safe in this cruel world. I would do anything for her. Cook, clean, even take a bullet for her. Hell I’d take a million bullets for her. My heart yearns to hold her in my arms. My heart and mind both agree that she is my soul mate. She is just so amazing. Am I dreaming? Is this real? It’s just so amazing.
I always smile when I talk to her. She just makes me so happy! My heart has butterflies even though we have only chatted on Facebook. I just feel so happy that I am talking to such an amazing person.She is adorable. She’s my cutesy klutz. She’s my little yandere. I just want to be by her side forever.

To My Little Yandere,
Anata nashidewa ikite ikanai.
Kirei dayo.
Itsumademo issho ni itai. <3

Signed with all the love in the world,


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