There is a lot parts to my brain, some to which I have no idea about. Some parts of my brain thinks things about people/scenarios/etc when I don't wanna think about it.
For example I'll think about fantasy scenario about someone I'm trying to get over but my mind will still think about it.
There is also a part of my brain that I have come to understand. In my mind, and i think in my heart, I really do believe age is just a number. I've had a lot of crushes on many people, obviously not having the feelings reciprocated. Girls and women. There is a difference between girls and women. Girls tend to be around my age or a little older. Then there are women. at least 5 years older than me. Most of the women I've had crushes on are from school times.
List of women I've fallen for:
***NOTE THAT THERE ARE SOME THAT I DIDN'T HAVE AS A TEACHER***
Middle School - 8th Grade History/Science Teacher (the second one; the first one left in the middle of the year because she couldn't stand our class XD), Guidance Counselor, Gym Teacher, Spanish Teacher
High School - 2 Guidance counselors, 11th Grade-Spanish 1 Teacher, 10th Grade Geometry Teacher, 11th Grade Biology Teacher (still kinda have feelings for her), 10th Grade Internet Management Class, a Gym Teacher, another 10th Grade Math Teacher, 12th Grade Pre-Calc Teacher.
I have fallen for a lot of girls. For privacy purpose, I am gonna post their initials.
***Some are from Middle School and Some from highschool***
Anyway, I knew the sense of authority but I think I felt like there wasn't the 'age' aspect. Do not worry. I did NOT try for a relationship because I knew it would A. never work and B. it's illegal. Or it was cause now I am 18. So...yea. But sadly I'll probably never see any of them ever again.
Another part of my brain, and heart, that feels like when I have a crush on someone I feel like they should know. I told my feelings to the 8th grade guidance counselor but that didn't end well. I was constantly reminded that it would never happen, which I already knew. So ever since that, I haven't told any of the women my feelings but it sort of beats me up on the inside because it really matters to me.
Fourth Part (?) is that I hate, HATE, to be constantly reminded about something that I already know. I'll even tell you that I already know. It pisses me off. Majorly.