Relaxing & Relationships [Kind of NSFW]

I've been playing a ton of Elder Scrolls Online (like 140 in the past two weeks). Its been my go to game of relaxation. I've also occasionally been playing Overwatch 2. Those two have been my go to games for trying to not let my emotions fall into a dark depression. I do notice the "whispers" of anxiety and the dreary emotions of sadness but I'm doing my best to ignore them. Been doing lots of things in ESO. From Guild Activities to Promoting my own guild to just casually fishing in the zone of Summerset (one of my top favorite zones).

--

On another side of things, I've been feeling somewhat lonely in a romantic relationship sense. Mainly because I've been reading romance manga/watching romance anime. However when I watch shows that are live-action (?) actors, I often skip over the romantic/"sexual" moments. It just doesn't interest me the way anime/manga does when it comes to romantic things (and yet I still watch p0rn, but feel somewhat unhappy that I've watched p0rn and "scratched the itch"). Even though I feel slightly lonely, I oddly gotten used to and enjoy being single. I don't have to worry about a whole other physical person that I want to have a romantic relationship with. I worry about myself along with others I care about enough as it is. I know if I want that kind of relationship I need to put in the work, which can be many forms of exhausting. I would try to put in the work if I had someone I really liked. But currently I don't have anyone physically I want a relationship with. Kind of wish I did but kind of happy I don't... I guess it really depends on the kind of person I meet and find interesting to me.

Maybe I should just play some games with more romantic aspects like Mass Effect or Dragon Age or even Stardew Valley or Cyberpunk 2077. I did really enjoy both Judy and Panam's romance in Cyberpunk 2077. (I've also kind of put a pause on doing achievement hunting for Dragon Age Inquisition because I've been having too much fun playing ESO and Overwatch 2).

--

I've been trying to force myself to draw or doodle something on paper despite my creative side being pretty much shut off currently, which sucks majorly. I got some doodles on paper, not so much drawings. I am not sure why my creative side decided to disappear but it has. I just hope it will eventually come back some day soon.