My current mindset and thinking isn't too great. And I dont mean the normal depression and sad thoughts and self-loathing. My mind is currently thinking that everything I do and everything I want to do is pointless. There is no reason to do anything, even if it's just to make me happy. Because, in my mind, happiness is temporary due to the fact that I suffer from depression and anxiety (and probably some other things as well). I am trying to be like "It makes me happy. And even if it's temporary happiness, I should do X,Y,Z because it makes me happy and content." That thinking is kind of working but a large chunk of my brain is like "everything is pointless and nothing matters." I am trying to push past that feeling and just distract myself from the feelings of pointlessness. An example of something I want to do but seems pointless in the end is like Gaming things. Like I want to get certain achievements or accolades in games that I enjoy playing but it seems like it doesn't matter because it's just gonna be gone to the ether when I die (whenever that may be). Same goes for all my drawing goals and drawings I've done so far...
I wish my mind wouldn't be so... counter-productive and damaging to myself...
