The Past Week was Tough, but Things are Better (though not perfect)

 Last week (the week of the 6th of February) was a difficult week. It was the week of the passing of my mother, along with her birthday. It felt worse than last years except obviously the year it happened. I was in a really really really dark place. I wasn't willing to hear help from others nor wanting to talk to others. I will say I am not doing perfect now but I feel better. I felt the weight of darkness disappear on the 12th of Feb.

During that time, and after, I've been playing a TON of Dragon Age Inquisition. I've been playing on PC and PlayStation. I only have two achievements left on PC so I'm trying to get to the Trespasser DLC but I dont want to skip any mission/DLC. I've been really enjoying playing through Dragon Age Inquisition again (on different characters/platforms). I'm trying to get Leliana as Divine but I always seem to get Cassandra because I usually save Empress Celene and Exile the Wardens. I have a save on my PlayStation to go back to if I want to have the Wardens Join the Inquisition (I just have to make sure not to save over that spot lol).

I want to play mot Overwatch to get the Zarya items on the Battlepass but I've been having a lot more fun playing Dragon Age Inquisition. 

I wish I could playthrough Dragon Age Origins on PC without it crashing mid mission before I remember to save. I try to save as much as possible but the constant crashing I have to deal with is ridiculous. I've heard from others the Dragon Age Origins is one of the best Dragon Age games out there currently. (Luckily I recently ordered it for an older console. Hopefully I works out and doesn't crash at all or as much as the PC version.)

Distraction is the only thing keeping me sane

Distraction is the only thing keeping me sane.

I've been playing lots of Dragon Age Inquisition recently. Only 2 achievements away on PC to getting all achievements on PC. I want to play more Mass Effect Legendary Edition, to achievement hunt. I also want to play God Of War and Horizon Zero Dawn on PC.

I've also been drawing/sketching, trying to improve my artwork. I'm getting better at rough sketching ideas and such. I have a 2.0mm pencil for traditional rough sketching and I really enjoy using that pencil along with my favorite 0.5mm pencil.

I've been getting lost in thought and dreams, which explains why my sleep schedule is messed up. I like losing myself in fantasy/fictional world or my weird, yet nice, dreams that I cant control. Though when I have nightmares, it isn't that nice but that hasn't happened too often.

Bleh

 

My creativity when it comes to writing is starting to come out again, which is good except for the fact that it's only really working when it come to my Fan-Fiction for Mass Effect or my private/fictional story. Whenever I open the document for my new story idea I am working on, my brain is like HoW dO i WrItE?... Maybe I need to just go in and, in a sense, wing it. Just write without really thinking too hard about things. It's kind of what I do with the private/fictional story. And when it comes to writing the fan-fiction, I come up with ideas mainly on the fly and I already know the backstories and details about characters from the Mass Effect Franchise. I do make up some details or whatever though. With my new story idea, I want to know the backstory of my characters, what the time period the story takes place in, what the world is like, etc. etc. which makes it tough for me to come up with details on the fly... Though I could just try to do that...Just come up with details on the fly and make note of them as I go...

I think a big reason I've been writing so well is because I've been lonely recently. My family friend who I talk to everyday via phone call is busy having her own family visiting and I'd hate to bother her with a phone call of mine so I only text for now. And when gaming, I've been gaming mainly alone which I am used to. I am currently grinding out 250 wins (currently have 181 wins done) as Tank in Overwatch 2, which is obviously taking its time. I recently got some single player games downloaded so I feel invested in a story rather than feeling lonely in multiplayer games.

When I try to draw, recently, my drawings often dont come out how I like. I know it's due to me needing to study and learn things more but I have trouble retaining information in general. I'm forgetful as fuck. But I'm trying to take notes when learning/studying so I dont forget or so I can come back to my notes when I do forget.

Still feeling depressed about my mom being deceased.... Trying to distract myself with writing, gaming, or drawing.