Experiencing and Learning from the Buddha's Teachings (one month later)

 I've been spending the past few weeks reading about Ikigai, Ichigo Ichie, and Kaizen as well as exploring the wisdom and information about Buddhism and Zen Buddhism. The different of aspects of Buddhism peak my interest and the fact that it feels a bit more realistic and grounded FOR ME is helpful. As someone who is often anxious and/or depressed, finding Buddhism has helped me cope/deal and let myself feel those (along with other) emotions. Like, the Buddha taught that we are essentially prisoners of our own minds, bound by out beliefs, perceptions and ideas (which I find very accurate). We seen an inaccurate version of reality that causes us unnecessary suffering. Buddha's teaching help us after that perspective and learn that the unnecessary sufferings we experience has more to do with how we see things than what we see.

You're meant to put the Buddha's teachings into practice, not meant to be believed in, which is what I'm trying to do.

I'm trying to connect with myself and my inner kindness and compassion while learning to allow myself to feel the many different emotions that are a part of life.

I do try to meditate more often to connect with my inner self, nature and the universe.

[About] One Month Later!

 

I've been feeling a bit better, emotion wise. I've been cleaning/preparing for a family friend who's coming to visit. I'm excited for the day I do groceries this week because I've been craving to cook more and I am going to my local grocery store along with my local Asian Market. Maybe I've been in the mood because I've been watching some cooking TV Shows and Videos. I often love experimenting different ideas I get in my head for cooking. I will do that along with cooking some recipes I found in my cookbooks (the recipes for Karage, a Steak Sandwich from Sword Art Online, Korokke, and Coffee Jelly). They are actually based on Manga Books/Anime Shows which I think is really cool. I've made coffee jelly before and it was really good and I recently ordered some weird but tasty coffee beans so I'll be using one of those (either Cookies and Cream or the one that tastes fruity). 

I'm trying to "adult" more in the sense of keeping things cleaner than when I am depressed, cooking more than ordering food, work on my project. Hell, I'm getting a bedframe because for the longest of times I didn't have a bedframe and not because I was poor but because when I was really young (and kind of stupid) I took apart my bunk bed I had (because I was a curious kid) though eventually we had to toss it due to it breaking on important structural parts (lol, my bad). I will say being an adult is difficult sometimes. Like as an anti-social person who hates dealing with robots on important phone calls, makes phone calls for important things tedious. It's been very hot recently, or thundering, which makes it difficult for me to go outside to do trash/recycle runs (as I have to walk to the large bins) but I will do it if need be. 

I've also, in my spare time, been playing a ton of Mass Effect Trilogy (and some Overwatch 2, despite Blizzard being complete assholes but I don't want to get into that right now). I actually got through Mass Effect 1 and 2 over the course of like 3 - 4 days, again in my spare time. I'm now on Mass Effect 3 and just finished the Mars mission. I'm hoping that I can re-spec my talents with my Shepard because I dont like how they auto-set some of my talents. 

What do I want to do??

 I've been thinking about what I want to do with my life.

Like I still want to make my own manga/comic, eventually but I need to get my creative gears going again. Right now, my creative side and inspiration has disappeared. Maybe if I look at previous projects/artworks of mine I'd get inspired.

I also want to be a casual streamer of sorts. I'd stream more than before, eventually making a schedule. I know most of the games I'd play would be "older" games compared to new games. I would even stream when I use Clip Studio Paint to work on my project (maybe) but I don't my ideas stolen so I'd be vague about the information of the comic/manga. And in all honesty, I would be streaming just for myself not for the money (if I ever get there, I highly doubt I'd get there haha). 

These are things that I want to do.