Normandy

Normandy

9.23.2013

Why am I a "Loner"? (I have a lot of verbatim in my blog)


Why am I a Loner?
Because the world has been cruel to me for 18 years.
So many times I've been bullied, glared at, ignored. I wish I had a voice but when I try to say something, my voice is silent in other people's ears.
Middle School
I was the girl who was constantly picked on by all the douche-bag guys. They'd picked on the way I dressed. They way I looked. They knew the fact that I didn't talk much that They could say whatever They want. They'd laugh at me. Occasionally, some girls would make fun of me but most girls didn't mind me. They weren't mean but they weren't nice. They were neutral. Except one girl. This girl acted as my friend. At some point I didn't give her what she wanted, so she decided to blackmail me. I gave in but told my counselor. It was decided that I would not talk to her for a long while. I, myself, broke of the friendship because I don't need people like that in my life, poisoning it with their venomous words.
In Middle School, I dressed in Hoodies and Jeans because I was super self-conscious already from my body. I was quiet. I didn't say much to anyone.
In as sense it made me hate school and made me afraid of going. I would act sick or stay in bed so I wouldn't have to go to school. Eventually I convinced my mom to let me go to school only for the main 4 classes (technically 3) and I would walk around the school with the gym teacher for gym. The gym teacher was nice to me. She would listen to me and didn't seem to judge me.
High School
High School wasn't fun either. I was going into a "new world" (in a sense) and I also figured out my sexuality. Freshman year - probably the worst year. Physics and English the Ex-friend was in both of those classes. Gym had the ex-friend's new friend in it. In gym, I was a total loner. Most kids were from the other Middle School so they would laugh and at me and stuff because the other girl who was friend's with the ex friend would whisper to them, look at me, then laugh. Sophomore year was neutral. Junior year was, again, neutral. Senior year, I was doing my own thing, alone. It was really nice because I didn't have to deal with anything relating with people or worrying about other people.

I stick to Music, Drawing, Gaming, Blogging, Reading, Writing, sometimes TV, Youtube, Reading Manga, and Watching Anime on HULU.

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