The stress I've been having about Christmas and Family has been so overwhelming I had to resort back to the outlet of smoking a cigarette or vaping to calm my nerves. I dont care what the Anti-Tobacco Ads say, for me, the occasional cigarette or vape moment helps me through the extreme stress times that happen on rare occasion. I know some people would go to Weed/Edibles for their relieve of stress and anxiety but all that mainly does for me is make me super sleepy (and sometimes loopy lol).
This stress and anxiety feels as bad as it felt when I'd have to go to school (specifically Freshman Year of High School) and my anxiety back then was just god-awful. Also my ideations (NOT ACTION) of suicidal thoughts have snuck a few thoughts here and there in my mind from all of this. From me missing my mom, dealing with family, worrying about the future/next year, etc.
The plan for Christmas is to have a cigarette/vape "break" (away from my apartment complex) before I head over to my aunt's place to help relieve some stress/anxiety. Because she causes me so much anxiety that when we are driving to her place I'll probably feel car-sick, and I don't even get car sick in the front seat! She just radiates a judgmental aura that causes me so much distress, if you couldn't already tell.
But I shall do my best to be strong and fight through. I'll be strong like Commander Shepard and fight back against the Reapers that are my family.
